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Costumes

by on November 1, 2014

Greg Gutfeld:

Because it’s Halloween, costumes are the topic of tonight’s Talking Points Memo.

Normally, people dress up tonight to scare others.

For liberals, it’s the reverse.

They’re donning disguises because they’re the ones who are scared.

As the election looms, and defeat terrifies them, in comes the “I’m not a liberal” costume, worn whenever things look bad.

They drop the acoustic guitar, and pick up the rifle.

Out goes solar and wind; in comes the flag pin.

It’s the old trick: run right, rule left … then call everyone racist.

This deceit raises the question: If your beliefs are so bad that you can’t defend them when they matter most — why hold them at all?

If you must hide your past, shouldn’t that tell you to rethink your present?

Why be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, when you can just be an honest cat?

If conservative principles are what’s needed in bad times, shouldn’t conservative principles be present at all times.

You don’t take vitamins when you’re sick. You take them to prevent sickness.

You don’t exercise when you’re overweight, you exercise to prevent it.

Being right all the time, beats being right when you have no choice.

Liberalism is the morbidly obese guy calling on conservatives to crane lift him out of bed — screaming for rescue after years of bloat.

So as candidates scramble in terror from Obama, it really means they’re running from themselves.

For Obama isn’t just the soul of the party, he is the party. And the candidates are the hangover.

On Tuesday, Americans must supply the Alka-Seltzer.

And that’s the memo.

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